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Novelty, Nonsense, and Non-Sequiturs

German Lutheran Church Takes Dramatic Disciplinary Action

The Christian Observer reports that:
The German Lutheran provincial church of Thuringa has suspended Pastor Matthias Pohland for baptizing cats at the request of their mostly elderly owners. Church officials called the cat baptisms "theologically highly suspect."
Strike another blow against animal rights.

U.S. Postal Service Gall

Just prior to the recent postage increase, the Postmaster General, Anthony Frank, mailed a little brochure to postal customers to help "make the adjustment to new rates as convenient as possible."

Given that the USPS has a monopolistic/bureaucratic stranglehold on much of the mail delivery service and, therefore, cannot go out of business like any real business, the Postmaster audaciously comforts customers by claiming:

We are committed to improving your satisfaction with the postal services...by: Providing consistent, timely delivery service, holding costs below inflation to reduce the frequency and amount of future rate increases, keeping our employees' commitment to quality service.

Your local postmaster and I want you to know that we value your business.

School Bus Schizophrenia

The Orange Country Register reports that the California Highway Patrol recently ordered the First Christian Church of Santa Ana to cease using its four buses as a link between its day-care program and nearby schools, since the buses did not meet state school-bus regulations. But the church had already altered the buses to meet state regulations for privately-operated buses:
"The irony of the situation is that we can drive our kids on a field trip to San Diego, but we can't take them around the corner to Santiago Elementary School," said Carrie Nelson, director of the day-care center.

"So, if we take kids out to the local pumpkin patch, we have to cover up the `school bus' sign and remove the lights."

"Then if we take them from the pumpkin patch to the school, we have to uncover the sign and put the lights back on."

Chic and Trendy Socialism Lives

Rolling Stone economic guru, William Greider, recently asserted that a very important lesson we can learn from the current recession,
is one that America learned before, during the Great Depression, and subsequently brushed aside: A maldistribution of incomes weakens the economy and eventually pulls it down.... I predict that as the current wreckage accumulates, this old forsaken truth taught by New Deal liberals will come back into vogue.... An equitable distribution of incomes is crucial, not just because it is fair, but because it is a pre-requisite for capital investment and healthy growth.
Rolling Stone is not a popular economics text in the East-bloc.

Conservatives Opt for Mega-Government

National Review editor, John O'Sullivan, recently embraced President Bush's "Wilsonian/Rooseveltian" vision of a New World Order:
The Gulf Crisis has been a dry run for a world in which the U.S. would be the dominant power enforcing collective security with the support of allies and the UN's blessing. As this New World Order develops, U.S. allies not giving military help would, in effect, be taxed to pay the costs. Given Uncle Sam's dominance, however, U.S. interests would largely determine the international rules of the game, UN decisions, and what constituted a threat to peace. Highly satisfactory.... If the price of a pax Americana is calling it a new world order, conservatives should be prepared to pay it.

Sensitivity as a College Breadth-Requirement

Campus magazine notes that,
Penn State, in a move to promote greater diversity, told incoming freshman that they could not object to being housed with a homosexual room-mate. The school's new policy states that no room changes can be made on the basis of sexual preference. In its attempt to "shape the attitudes about students who are different by virtue of race, ethnicity, gender, or sexual orientation," the University also implemented a summer "sensitivity program."

Comrade Big Bird

In a letter to the Economist, we learn of genuine change in Poland:

On a recent visit to Warsaw I found that many of the street names had been changed during the past year. Generally, names of various "socialist heroes" have been replaced by those of Polish patriots. A somewhat more creative approach, however, was demonstrated in renaming the former "Street of the Red Army." It is now called "Sesame Street."


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